11/15/11 - AM

I woke up feeling kind of sick to my stomach today. I have found that I get nauseous when I have an empty stomach and need to have a bowel movement. (Sorry, but it needs to be said). I found this pattern a few months ago. But, even though I did go to the bathroom, I am still feeling nauseous and so I am sipping on some peppermint tea. (My new favorite!).

Last week one of my issues was that I was trying to eat less, but in doing so, I would feel nauseous with my empty stomach. I was also getting some pretty nasty headaches to where I was even more nauseous and needed to lay down. So I would eat. But eating would bring up my sugars. One day I was sick all morning and by lunch time I almost couldn't stand it. My head hurt so bad I didn't want to eat, but I knew eating would help. Sure enough, I ate and within 1/2 hour, my headache was good as gone. It was not a fun cycle to be in and I am hoping that my body is over that, but this morning the way I feel, I am not so sure.

I exercised for 20 minutes last night. I am slightly disappointed in myself for only doing 20 min because I know I could have done 30. One of my issues with exercising is that while I am doing it, I am thinking of all the things that need to be done that I could be doing. Exercise is still not a big enough priority for me. I am not sure how to make it that way. However, this morning I woke up testing 165! So, I am guessing the exercise has something to do with it.

I know that losing weight is key also. I have seen in the past that just 10 lbs can make a difference in how well my body takes the insulin and how well I can control my sugars. I am currently 212 lbs which is probably down from 216 or so because I know I have lost a couple lbs in this past week. Weigh has always been an issue for me. I believe that my weight is more psychological than anything. I was blessed with a strong body and although losing weight is just hard sometimes, I know that I can do it if I am in the right mind set. I did it towards the end of my first marriage when I lost 50 lbs and kept it off for almost 2 years. I was still about 30 lbs overweight, but to have lost that much after "struggling" for 8 years was definitely a feat! I did it by exercise and eating correct portions. I even ate the yummy stuff. I told myself that I could have it as long as it was the correct portion and I couldn't have it all the time, but if I was craving it, I ate it. I had to tell myself "this isn't your last meal" and "TASTE your food". I also exercised at least 1 hour every day. Yesterday I decided that I need to focus on my sugars, not my weight and that the side effect will be weight loss. Then, when my sugars are under control, I will hopefully feel good enough to have the energy to focus on weight loss again.

Thanksgiving is next week and I have told myself that I am not going to worry about my sugars that day and just eat what I want. I will probably do that, but we will see. I may feel inspired that day to taste this and that, but to eat more turkey and less sweet potatoes. :)

I am also working on lowing my stress level. Work isn't too bad and tends to be my escape. (My neighbors blaring music at 6:30am isn't helping while I write this either!) But, life happens and I need to be able to lower the level of anxiety my body is feeling. HA! I feel like THAT is much harder than losing weight!

So here is to another day. It should be a quiet day at work and so I am hoping to get caught up on filing. I am still feeling pretty nauseous and hope that it goes away with eating breakfast.

Ciao!