3/18/2012

Wow! I hadn't realized that it has been so long since I posted! Time seems to fly faster the older I get.

I haven't been testing my sugars and so I am not really sure exactly where they are. However, I am sure that they are somewhere between 200 and 300.

I have been diligent in taking my medicine and have been doing really well with that.

I take my meals pretty much one decision at a time. I have been trying to eat with the 5 rule in mind. 1-no rice, 2-no potatoes, 3-no sugary drinks, 4-nothing with corn, 5-nothing with flour. I do pretty good except with the flour. I don't really miss the rice when eating a meal that everyone else is eating rice on. The potatoes I do ok except when it comes to hash browns with breakfast at a restaurant. I switched to only sugar free drinks (if I have soda at all) and corn was an easy one for me to give up. I just am trying to watch for things that have corn syrup in them. It is really hard to walk away from treats at work, but I am able to walk away about 70% of the time.

I recently went to a family function where they had a potato bar and I was really proud of myself because I brought my own cauliflower to put in place of the potato. It was harder than I thought it would be because baked potatoes are one of my favorites. But, I did find that I could eat less of the cauliflower than if I had had a potato. I could have eaten two potatoes easily, but I was only able to eat about 1 cup of cauliflower. Interesting......

I know that working out is essential, but I still haven't brought myself to do it. I moved the elliptical into the living room so that I couldn't use the neighbor excuse. I have yet to use it. I can feel my body breaking down and I feel weaker and weaker. I am not sure why I don't just do it! I am tired and just want to lay down. My knees have started to hurt lately and my muscles throughout my body just hurt.

I have an appointment with my doctor on Tuesday. I don't like going because I feel like it is a waste of money and time if I am not doing everything that I have been told to do. I don't necessarily find it motivating either. Maybe for the week before the appointment! :)

My stress level is still constantly high. I feel overwhelmed about 98% of my days. Again, I think exercise would be something to help this. But I feel it is very safe to say that my life is just way out of balance. I need to cut back somewhere to make space for myself, but I don't know where to do that. I sat down yesterday and did a puzzle and it was nice! I love puzzles and haven't done one in a long time. I found myself still feeling an overwhelming feeling of "hurry up!", but I kept reminding myself that the reason behind doing it was for me and my daughter to spend time with my Dad and Mom. That helped me to calm down some and just enjoy the moments. Now today as I sit and write this, I am feeling guilty that my daughter is playing by herself and my house needs vacuumed and swept and there are about 4 loads of laundry to do because I spent my day yesterday running errands.

Well, I do need to go because the more I write, the more anxious I am feeling. I am taking the next two days off of work and so I hope to write some more.

Til then!