2/8/12 - AM

So I had written on here a week ago, but when I went to post it, it said there was a problem and it deleted all that I had written....ug.

But, today I will be smarter and copy it before I hit to publish.

So my sugars are still down when I eat the way I should. I haven't been testing very good in the morning because I know they will be high because of how I ate the night before. I usually eat good until dinner and then I go off the wagon. Last night I had a bun-less burger, but then I followed it up with a peanut butter cookie bar and a huge sugar cookie.

For the last 2 weeks I have been testing in the 100's, but to be honest, I only test if I think they are good. If I know that they will be bad, I don't test. (usually at night before bed and in the morning). My biggest issue is a lack of a meal plan.

This past weekend I spent a large amount of time working on my husband's meal plan. Monday morning I realized that I didn't have a plan for myself. So, I didn't eat right that day. I did better yesterday, but I still don't have a plan in place. If I don't do it over the weekend, it makes it very hard to get it done any other time.

My stress level is still pretty high. There are some issues going on that haven't really been in my face in the past two weeks, but only because my husband hasn't been doing his part and so I have been able to somewhat ignore them. However, I know they are coming back up again in the next week or so. Also, the lack of a plan for myself is really stressing me out and this is when I feel the most out of control.

This past week has also had some external things happen that have weighed heavily on my mind. External meaning that if I hadn't heard about them, they wouldn't affect me in any way. News stories and an old friend. I try not to think too much about them, but they creep in and they are very emotional for me. So I almost feel as though the part of my life that I was able to ignore for a week or so was replaced by these other two stories. Other than not watching the news, I don't know how to not let these kinds of things affect me. Maybe that's what I need to do, is to not watch the news for a while. But then I feel dumb when I don't have anything to talk to other people about but what is going on in MY life.

So, today is Wednesday. I am again starting out the day with good foods and hope to keep my sugars down again. For this evening, we have a visit with my step-son and in the past we usually just go out to eat. We go out to run errands and instead of going home to cook and then just leaving again to take him home, we eat out. When my husband is home in the evening, I have learned to just keep my plans up in the air because he changes the plan constantly. I guess I need to have a "plan" for when there is no "plan".

So physically I feel tired and drained. Probably because of the cookies last night, but also my daughter has a cold and has kept me up for two nights. I also didn't sleep well last night because I was having bad dreams.

Emotionally I am feeling frustrated. Not at the level I have been, but still pretty high today more over my lack of preparation and organization.