1/6/2012 - AM

So I went and saw the diabetes educator yesterday. Loved her. I felt on the verge of tears the whole appointment. She changed my insulin and the way I take it to make it easier on me. I had been taking the Lantus every morning and night and then humalog every meal. She switched me to a 25/75 mix that I take every morning and every night. This isn't a final setup, it is really just to help get my numbers down and give me a little success. She has started me out on 50 units each dose.

My numbers before bed last night were 365. When I woke up this morning, they were 322.

Emotionally today I am feeling a little bit of stress off. I know it wasn't a big change, but just one less thing to calculate was good. My biggest issue at this point will be to make sure I don't forget to take it. I think I can do this.

Today is friday and so I am looking forward to the weekend. I need to spend it doing some organizing around my house. I also need to get some of my "to do" list accomplished. It should be a good weekend.

I think I may have an infection in one if not both eyes. My left eye has a scratch across the eyelid that is not healing. It is right along the seem when I open my eye. Last night I used some hydrogen peroxid and it fizzed like crazy. I then put some neosporin and a bandade so that if it melted, it wouldn't roll into my eye and slept with the bandage on. The last few months, at night I will watch tv and because I am a boob, I cry watching a lot of the shows and when tears would well up, my eyes would burn to the point I would have to close them for a time so they could clear out. I just passed it off as sensitive eyes, but I am wondering now if it is something more. Nothing major, but something that I could use some antibiotic eye drops or something for. I will see if a few nights of bandaging and neosporin on the scratch helps.

So that I don't get down on myself about the high sugar numbers, I feel like I have kindof shut off on the caring part. Almost like going back into denial that I even have diabetes. I guess it is ok for a day or two, but I don't want to do it forever or I won't try harder. But, I feel like I need to do it so that I don't get frustrated and give up completely.

What I NEED to do is exercise. I don't feel like I will get anywhere if I don't. I have all the excuses in the world. Ideal would be that I go home and while my daughter does her homework, I exercise. But, the eliptical that I have is too loud for the people downstairs (they came up to us and told us). I have thought of buying something quieter, but I don't know that I feel good about spending $500 on it. I can go to the clubhouse, but I can't get my daughter to stay entertained with something while I workout. I could leave her in daycare and go right after work, but I already feel guilty that she is there for 9 hours a day as it is. Maybe I do just need to break down and spend the money.