Well, this past weekend wasn't as successful as I had hoped. I broke down and ate food I shouldn't on Saturday and I paid the price in feeling really crappy most of the day. I then ate well yesterday for most of the day and then broke down at the end of the day. I didn't do too bad last night, but I could have done much better.
I got up and exercised today, but I didn't work out as hard as I should have. I did increase the intensity on the elliptical and so I got my heart rate up pretty good, but I wasn't as into it as I should have been.
I am physically tired this morning and wish I could go back to bed. Probably from not eating well over the weekend. I tested 159 this morning which is actually lower than I expected.
Emotionally I am still quite worn out. I was able to have a "therapy session" by talking to my sister on Friday night, and that helped me sort through a few things and come out of my emotional hole a little bit. I had begun to think that maybe my situation may have been changing for the better this last week, but this weekend proved that it was only temporary (which is what I was hoping it was not). So, I am feeling like I want to go back into my emotional hole and pretend again.
Today will be a good day I think. I am going to do better with food again. I have to go to the store to buy some more eggs because I am out now. It was Eater weekend and there are always lots of fun things to make with eggs. :) I don't like going to the store anymore because I get emotional. I get choked up seeing things I want to buy and can't. My Mom pointed out yesterday that maybe it is because I can't find things that I CAN buy, not so much over the things I can't. I think she has a point also! It is hard to go in and the ends of the isles are all full of crap food that I "love" and can't buy, but I have to walk by it all to get back to the eggs and yogurt and meat that I CAN buy. Then, I have to walk back by it again to get back to the front of the store. I could walk down the isle with all the laundry soap etc, but there are 5 isles to walk by to get to that one! I guess there is Harmon's who has a door by the veggies and the veggies go all the way back to the back. That's it. Time to start shopping at Harmon's. Sorry Smith's....you're out.
Time to go shower.....
This is my outlet of dealing with my diabetes. I was born in 1973 and although I am sure I had it for years, I was diagnosed in 1998 with type 2 diabetes. I have never had control (other than the 9 months I was pregnant). I have neuropothy in my feet and can no longer feel them. I am also seeing that my body is breaking down faster and I feel like I am 80 some days. So, I am trying to change things out of fear and this is my blog about it.
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